Pour aider une jeune femme trans* victime de transphobie et en danger, nous avons besoin de vous pour l’aider Ã fuir. To help a young trans woman victim of transphobia and endangered, we need you.
If every one of my followers could give this a signal boost (or donate if they can) that would be really really really important right now !
"trans men have always had male privilege and have thus never truly experienced misogyny.”
that actually varies from person to person. some trans men have had to present as female for a majority of their life and even if they do present as male they may not pass as one. they do…
please tell me where my male privilege was when i lost a job to a man because he was better “physically fit” for the job.
I presented as female for twenty-three years. I experienced TONS of misogyny, from a job where I was required to wear a skirt (and laid off when I stopped doing so) to men thinking it was all right to fucking TALK ABOUT MY CLEAVAGE as if I were a piece of meat, right to my face. I didn’t feel safe walking home, I dealt with the PMS ‘jokes’, I was constantly being touched without permission, I had people make disgusting comments about my relationship with my girlfriend… all those things, all the time, and so much more. Presenting as male definitely has it’s own problems, but one thing it’s shown me is just how much misogyny I experienced on a daily basis, whereas before I began transitioning, I thought that it was just how life was.
Arguing that trans men have never experienced misogyny is by definition untrue, because misogyny is based on perceived gender, regardless of actual gender. If a person has spent any decent amount of time as visibly female, they probably have experienced misogyny. Misogyny is based in the mind of the perpetrator, not the mind of the victim, and therefore the victim’s gender, beyond what it is perceived to be by the perpetrator, is irrelevant.
That’s right kiddies: It’s time for another intersectionality lecture compliments of lightspeedsound, resident asian bitch diva goddess.
So this is why I cringe and scream whenever a white queer person talks about how we don’t need to mention race, because “we’re all queer here.”
Like dude, plz stfu.
Here’s my thing:
When a white kid comes out, sure, there are unaccepting parents. There are also parents that are totally cool and cognizant. A white (cis) gay guy friend of mine told me that his mom cried when he came out to her. Not because she was homophobic and hated the gay or anything ,but because she was scared about the way the world was going to treat her son…a a GAY man.
Now, when I came out to my mom (who, I’m sure, told my dad. It’s pretty much a given in my immediate family that I’m totes queer), she reacted pretty much ideally. Sure, there was some awkward and uncomfortable explaining about pansexuality/bisexuality and how that worked and how “No, mom, that does not mean that I’m incapable of being in an exclusive relationship with a dude,” but it turned out really great. At the end of the conversation, after I started crying with frustration because mom didn’t get my sexuality, she started crying too. And she just hugged me and said, “All I want, and all papa wants, all we want as parents, is for you to find somebody that loves you as much as you love them. That cherishes you the way we do. That’s all a parent could ever wish for, for their kids.” Cue the heartwarming strings music.
Anyways, that was just step one. For white queer kids with accepting parents, it’s all about getting the world to see the kid beyond their respective queerness.
But when *I* was applying to law school, and writing a VERY queer-driven personal statement, my mom sat me down and had a really serious talk. And sure, it was about queerness, but it was also about being Asian.
My mom, by the way is pretty much an asian bitch diva goddess, just like me. She’s where I get it from. She raised me and my sister to give no fucks and to basically radiate awesomeness and class. My mother is a tiny asian woman doctor, who raised me and my sister in the South (with a capital “S,” it was that fucking conservative). She (and my dad) grew up during martial law in the Philippines. They earned their green card in inner city Detroit and then Wise FUCKING Virginia (which is as boonie town southern as it gets). My mother is literally a super hero.
So when she sat me down to talk to me about being an Asian woman in a white man’s profession, I listened close.
Basically, my mom told me that while she knew I was awesome and more than my Asian queerhood, the white people who would be guiding all the most important decisions wouldn’t. She told me that my last name alone pretty much guaranteed that I would be immediately judged as an Asian woman. That I would have to work ten times harder, be ten times more competent, be ten times more impressive and well-spoken and well-dressed just to be taken seriously, be viewed as more than a “diversity badge” for whomever I ended up working for. That I would be facing a hell of a lot of stereotypes about women, Asians, and submissive Asian women.
So, my mom explained, coming out in an application personal statement as QUEER TOO was shooting myself in the foot. I would be screwing myself over. ”That’s just the way the world works,” she said. The way to go, she advised, was to be hella impressive and accomplished, and THEN come out. In the long run, my credibility wouldn’t be questioned. And, as a successful queer, Asian woman, I would be doing more for the movement’s image. I could disprove bigotry and raise awareness from a position of power.
So don’t talk to me about how the queer rights movement doesn’t need any conversations about race thrown in. It’s impossible for me to fathom approaching issues of queerness without taking into account my race. There are layers and layers of experiences and considerations and for you, a white person, to tell me that I’m doing less for the movement because I’m “diverting” it is more than ignorance. It’s fucking erasure. It’s fucking stupidity. And it’s going to get some QPOC in downright fucking dangerous situations, you asshat. Stop thinking that the entire world of queerness is in a vacuum. it’s not.
I’m here and I’m queer.
And I’m Asian and trailblazin’
Deal with it.